A Sad Passing

It has been a sad time around my house.  My husband passed away one month ago today.  I feel lost, but really should not complain because I had him 60 years and 21 days.  Longer than many people live.  We were lucky in another way because he wasn't terribly sick for a long time.

I try each day to count my many blessings, however, it doesn't mitigate the fact that he was a loyal, loving husband and friend; and the hole his passing has left in my heart will be there forever.  However, my heart also holds lots of wonderful memories of our deeply joined lives.  Both the good times and the bad built the invisible glue that sustained us and made us more than a team.

About 6 weeks before he died, we spent 3 days visiting Santee Lakes, he on his scooter, and I being pulled around by one or both dogs.  He loved every minute of every hour we were out there walking around the park, with its small streams, soft breezes and green green grass.

We were scheduled to camp there that week, but hubby was too tired to want to stay overnight.  He no longer drove, but had learned to put up with my less than perfect handling of the motorhome.  So I took him there for a few hours each day to sit in "our" site and ride the trails in this beautiful part of the park.  he was so happy while there, and all the way home he was happy and content.

(Santee Lakes is actually a water reclamation park consisting of a series of lakes that purify waste water so well that you can swim in its pools and eat the fish in the lakes  Water conservationists have come from all around the world to study its design and efficiency.  Camping is an auxilliary benefit.)

Our favorite site in the campground was space 290.   It has one site to its north, and then there is a good 200 feet of lawn filled expanse dotted with beautifully mottled trunk sycamore trees before the next motorhome space.  A small gurgling stream with a lovely rock bed meanders by our space and down through the park.   It is a space where you can always move your chair a few feet and find dappled shade and a breeze.  You don't have to divert your eyes to keep from invading someone elses campsite.  Water birds and hawks frequent the area on a regular basis.  I am so glad we were able to go and enjoy the peace and beauty together that last time.

I have that site reserved for later this month.  Just for me,  my memories, and his two precious small dogs,  Benji and Tinkerbelle.

Benbji, a small, pudgy, blond pound  mongrel was his favorite.  They both fell in love the moment they met on Valentines Day 2009!  Benji is about two now, and still, after a month, keeps looking for "poppa".  I am a mediocre substitute.

Benji, upon first arriving at our home, took to ricochetting off every wall and piece of furniture- unless he was securely settled on poppa's lap.  My husband was handicapped and used a walker in the house and an electric scooter outside.  As long as he was sitting, Benji was almost always in his lap.  He not only loved to be on his lap, but was a constant licker.  Pet Benji, and his tongue starts working. Although he wasn't pleased with the licking,  my husband loved him unconditionally anyway.

Tinkerbelle, our  10 year old shih tzu, came in a close second in the  Love that Dog department.  If my husband was using his cart, Benji would be in his lap, and Tinkerbelle would ride around on the foot area surveying the surrounding territory.  In fact, at Santee Lakes, Tinkerbelle preferred riding  on his scooter to snuffling around in the grass reading the daily dog news, as Benji loves to do.

So we will return to site 290 next week, and carry him along with us in our hearts.  May all who read this be so lucky in love.

** His closest friend and confidant, son Brian, will join us with his family in the early evenings.